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Depression
Depression is more complex than just “feeling sad”. It affects children, teens and adults, it can manifest in different ways, and it often requires additional support.
For example, depression can result from:
A medical condition (thyroid, lupus, PCOS, etc.),
Hormonal imbalance,
Traumatic experiences, early childhood trauma, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)
Genetic predisposition to mental illness,
An undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental disorder,
Adjustment to change, life experiences, or loss.
Depression, self harm and suicide have increased among children and adolescents. Often times changes in their mood and behavior are dismissed as "attention seeking" or "part of growing up". If your teen or child is showing signs of depression, immediately tell the pediatrician and seek professional counseling.
Some general signs of depression:
Persistent sadness, withdrawal, isolation
Increased irritability, anger, hostility
Loss of interest in activities or hobbies that he or she enjoyed doing.
Feeling pessimistic, hopeless
Fatigue or lack of energy
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Lack of motivation, difficulty staying on task
Pain or aches that are medically unfounded
Reckless and/or high risk behaviors
Thoughts of being better off dead
If you are going through depression:
Let your primary doctor know, to assess and rule out a medical condition.
Don't Isolate. Stay Connected to people that are supportive.
Seek help.
If you are a parent or caretaker, and suspect that your child or adolescent is depressed:
Listen and validate their feelings. Remember that being a child or teen has its own challenges.
Strengthen the bridge of communication and connection.
Spend more time one-on-one with them.
Show genuine interest in the things that they like.
Be creative and intentional in finding ways to connect and strengthen the relationship. As your relationship becomes stronger it will be easier for your child or teen to communicate things that may be really hard to talk about.
Connect your child or teen to a professional counselor.
Follow up with your pediatrician to assess and rule out anything medical.
Depression can feel like a bottomless pit. Don't judge, minimize or assume, be quick to listen and slow to speak, and be supportive.
Infidelity
If you have experienced an infidelity, you are not alone! According to research the number of marriages disrupted by infidelity and divorce has significantly increased nationwide, with evangelical churches catching up to the national rates.
Different factors can contribute to an infidelity, for example: history of trauma, past infidelities or failed relationships, comparing your spouse with a previous partner, generational and cultural beliefs, rejection, insecurities, pornography, unrealistic expectations, or looking for your spouse to satisfy an internal void.
Regardless of what led to the infidelity, there can be healing and restoration! But it requires forgiveness, transparency, accountability, and perseverance.
What can you do to start working towards the healing and restoration of your marriage?
Stop all contact with the other person and get rid of gifts or things that the person gave you.
Be honest and transparent with your spouse.
Identify personal triggers that led to the infidelity. Be honest with yourself about thoughts, feelings, or past experiences that can lead to a relapse.
Seek Couples Counseling and Individual Counseling. In Couples Counseling you will work on the relationship and in Individual Counseling you and your spouse will do your own personal work.
Be intentional about investing in your marriage!
Think of a beautiful blooming garden! What would happen if you only water, clean and maintain one section of the garden but underestimate and neglect the other areas? The area that was neglected will become dry and wither. The same can happen in a family.
In the busyness of life, it can be easy to invest all your attention on a job, finances, service in ministry or even the kids, and underestimate or neglect your marriage. It is important to keep a balance, set healthy boundaries, and attend to every area.
Healthy relationships
You can enter a new relationship with a suitcase overfilled with past experiences and hurts, unrealistic “novela” expectations, insecurities, and fears that can jeopardize and even sabotage what could be a healthy relationship.
If you are considering entering a new relationship,
examine your heart, are you carrying a heavy suitcase?
What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
If you are carrying around an overfilled suitcase:
Counseling could be a good starting point to heal, learn about healthy relationships, and replace unhealthy patterns.
Stay connected with people that are supportive and trustworthy.
Last, give your heart time to heal before you step into a new relationship.